Further Refinement of the Dubya Resignation Scenario
There's one small bit I didn't cover in my resignation scenario. Let's go over the whole thing again.
As the heat increases and it looks like impeachment proceedings are going to begin, Cheney is going to resign, citing "health reasons". But rather that heading to the hospital, a black unmarked helicopter belonging to Halliburton will whisk him away to an airfield with a private jet that will fly him to the new Halliburton complex over in Dubai. He will be protected by a private security force and by every possible layer of government that will be paid handsomely from a chunk of the $500 million that "disappeared" from the Iraq treasury. Cheney will spend the rest of his days never worried that an extradition request will be honored and he will die much like Hunter Thompson believed Nixon would die- in a bunker wearing jackboots.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....
Nixon...... whoops, Freudian slip...... Bush will appoint Santorum for the reasons I outlined in my previous post. McCain will also be brought into the fold and told the Secret Plan, with the warning that if he even breathes a word of it to anyone, he will be shipped back to Vietnam to spend the rest of his days in a "tiger cage" being poked with bamboo sticks.
On a viciously hot and sticky Sunday morning, while Congress is in recess, Dubya will down the rest of the bottle of a fine 18 year old Scotch that he started working on the night before and snort another line of Peruvian Marching Powder before calling an impromptu press conference to announce his resignation, effective immediately.
At a location across town, it would "just so happen" that Santorum would be having brunch with his old friends, John McCain and Chief Justice John Roberts. Santorum would get a call on his cellphone from Rove, just to chat him up a bit and to mention that he's having breakfast with Bob Woodward. The threat is clear.
They have the hostess turn on Fox News in time to see the president, his eyes wild and crazy and hair sticking up at weird angles, announcing his resignation. As soon as he utters the word "effective immediately", Roberts whips out a Bible and with the hostess as witness, swears in Santorum, who then appoints McCain to be the vice president. McCain is then also sworn in. Brutally aware of the deal and knowing if he fucks up, Rove would hand Woodward his file, Santorum pulls out the envelope sealed with wax and stamped "For Vice President Santorum's Eyes Only". He opens it up. It contains papers pardoning Bush, Rove, Cheney, and Libby already filled out and stamped with the Presidential Seal. Borrowing the hostess's pen, Santorum signs all the pardons and hands them to Roberts.
Roberts' cellphone rings. "Yeah, Karl. Good morning. How was your breakfast? Good. Yes, everything's been taken care off. Enjoy your retirement."
The deed will be done. Those folks who came to Washington claiming they wanted to "clean up" the town will flee like rats from their self-created shitstorm far uglier than the one that hit when Nixon left town.
The Democrats will howl like castrated minks, angry that once again a Republican president pulled a Houdini on them, but also knowing that they just won the 2008 election. This will be a Pyrrhic victory, as the Treasury will be bankrupt, we'll still be mired in Iraq, and the economy will be heading straight into the toilet. It will be impossible to fix any of it in one term and they know the voters in 2012 will cast them aside in favor of the other Bush scion, Jeb.
As the heat increases and it looks like impeachment proceedings are going to begin, Cheney is going to resign, citing "health reasons". But rather that heading to the hospital, a black unmarked helicopter belonging to Halliburton will whisk him away to an airfield with a private jet that will fly him to the new Halliburton complex over in Dubai. He will be protected by a private security force and by every possible layer of government that will be paid handsomely from a chunk of the $500 million that "disappeared" from the Iraq treasury. Cheney will spend the rest of his days never worried that an extradition request will be honored and he will die much like Hunter Thompson believed Nixon would die- in a bunker wearing jackboots.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....
Nixon...... whoops, Freudian slip...... Bush will appoint Santorum for the reasons I outlined in my previous post. McCain will also be brought into the fold and told the Secret Plan, with the warning that if he even breathes a word of it to anyone, he will be shipped back to Vietnam to spend the rest of his days in a "tiger cage" being poked with bamboo sticks.
On a viciously hot and sticky Sunday morning, while Congress is in recess, Dubya will down the rest of the bottle of a fine 18 year old Scotch that he started working on the night before and snort another line of Peruvian Marching Powder before calling an impromptu press conference to announce his resignation, effective immediately.
At a location across town, it would "just so happen" that Santorum would be having brunch with his old friends, John McCain and Chief Justice John Roberts. Santorum would get a call on his cellphone from Rove, just to chat him up a bit and to mention that he's having breakfast with Bob Woodward. The threat is clear.
They have the hostess turn on Fox News in time to see the president, his eyes wild and crazy and hair sticking up at weird angles, announcing his resignation. As soon as he utters the word "effective immediately", Roberts whips out a Bible and with the hostess as witness, swears in Santorum, who then appoints McCain to be the vice president. McCain is then also sworn in. Brutally aware of the deal and knowing if he fucks up, Rove would hand Woodward his file, Santorum pulls out the envelope sealed with wax and stamped "For Vice President Santorum's Eyes Only". He opens it up. It contains papers pardoning Bush, Rove, Cheney, and Libby already filled out and stamped with the Presidential Seal. Borrowing the hostess's pen, Santorum signs all the pardons and hands them to Roberts.
Roberts' cellphone rings. "Yeah, Karl. Good morning. How was your breakfast? Good. Yes, everything's been taken care off. Enjoy your retirement."
The deed will be done. Those folks who came to Washington claiming they wanted to "clean up" the town will flee like rats from their self-created shitstorm far uglier than the one that hit when Nixon left town.
The Democrats will howl like castrated minks, angry that once again a Republican president pulled a Houdini on them, but also knowing that they just won the 2008 election. This will be a Pyrrhic victory, as the Treasury will be bankrupt, we'll still be mired in Iraq, and the economy will be heading straight into the toilet. It will be impossible to fix any of it in one term and they know the voters in 2012 will cast them aside in favor of the other Bush scion, Jeb.
Labels: 2008, 2012, AttorneyGate, Bush, Cheney, Democrats, impeachment, Jeb Bush, McCain, pardon, Roberts, Santorum
posted by Stevie Z at 10:09 AM
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