Land of the Living Lunatics
I live in the Boston area and Boston drivers have a well-deserved reputation for being horrible drivers. Invariably people who haven't ever been outside the 495 belt except to go to the Cape, Foxy Lady (a notorious and overrated strip club in Providence), or heavy metal concerts at the Palladium in Worcester will get indignant and say NYC drivers are worse. Which is total bullshit. With the exception of the tourist-clogged Times Square, NY drivers are aggressive but pay attention to the rules. They do not run red lights, they yield on turns to pedestrians, and they do not try to cause accidents because their life would become a living hell of surcharges and paperwork.
There are many classic Boston driving moves. Few if any people use their directionals. For a city with the highest concentration of college students/grads, there is this confused bewilderment as to the function of that little stick on the steering column and they generally ignore it.
Second, empirical evidence exists that Boston men have smaller dicks than men in other cities as evidenced by their sad and dangerous efforts to overcompensate by driving like a maniac. I've yet to hear a woman say she got all wet watching someone cut across 3 lanes and nearly causing a 50-car pileup. And as part of this, they are afraid it will diminish their already-puny manhood by cutting another driver a break.
Third, traffic lights are mere suggestions and the social norm here is that if you don't feel like obeying it, feel free to run it. I have seen 10 cars in a line run a red light, and these mental midgets usually accomlish their assholish behavior with indignant self-righteousness. They have to get to the packie to buy beer and scratch tickets and damned if anyone will get between them and their white trash nirvana.
Fourth, every driver believes they are the only one who needs to be anywhere in a hurry. This sense of self-entitlement leads to the classic Boston move as follows: let's say there's a lane squeeze up ahead. Rather than zipper in at the first chance, they drive as far down the line as they can get and then they cut in front of you, daring you to hit them.
Finally, the horn. These same shitheads who cannot decipher the utility of the directional have overcompensated by their use of the horn. There's a contest of who can lay on the horn fastest when the light turns green. Usually the dickhead in question is 4 or 5 cars back from the front and only knows that there's someone up front not moving but has no idea why. Today- god's honest truth- some poor bastard in a wheelchair was crossing the road and couldn't make it during the walk cycle. When the light turned green, at least half a dozen cars behind the front cars started laying on the horn.
That's Boston for you.
There are many classic Boston driving moves. Few if any people use their directionals. For a city with the highest concentration of college students/grads, there is this confused bewilderment as to the function of that little stick on the steering column and they generally ignore it.
Second, empirical evidence exists that Boston men have smaller dicks than men in other cities as evidenced by their sad and dangerous efforts to overcompensate by driving like a maniac. I've yet to hear a woman say she got all wet watching someone cut across 3 lanes and nearly causing a 50-car pileup. And as part of this, they are afraid it will diminish their already-puny manhood by cutting another driver a break.
Third, traffic lights are mere suggestions and the social norm here is that if you don't feel like obeying it, feel free to run it. I have seen 10 cars in a line run a red light, and these mental midgets usually accomlish their assholish behavior with indignant self-righteousness. They have to get to the packie to buy beer and scratch tickets and damned if anyone will get between them and their white trash nirvana.
Fourth, every driver believes they are the only one who needs to be anywhere in a hurry. This sense of self-entitlement leads to the classic Boston move as follows: let's say there's a lane squeeze up ahead. Rather than zipper in at the first chance, they drive as far down the line as they can get and then they cut in front of you, daring you to hit them.
Finally, the horn. These same shitheads who cannot decipher the utility of the directional have overcompensated by their use of the horn. There's a contest of who can lay on the horn fastest when the light turns green. Usually the dickhead in question is 4 or 5 cars back from the front and only knows that there's someone up front not moving but has no idea why. Today- god's honest truth- some poor bastard in a wheelchair was crossing the road and couldn't make it during the walk cycle. When the light turned green, at least half a dozen cars behind the front cars started laying on the horn.
That's Boston for you.
posted by Stevie Z at 10:07 PM
1 comments
